Wedding Etiquette

Dear Students,

I have had several emails lately asking me questions about wedding etiquette. Life is filled with so many happy occasions that we want to celebrate! And as ladies and gentlemen, I want you to have the skills that will help you make these events even more festive. 

The preteen and teenage years are when a transition occurs and occasionally you begin to be included on the guest list for more adult events. They recognize that you are getting older, so rise to the occasion and act with grace and maturity. Recognize that it is an honor to be invited! The couple invited you because they want you to share their special day with them. Being a good wedding guest with a great attitude can help the day go more smoothly and help it to be the day that they had hoped for! 

To be a good wedding guest:

1. When you receive an invitation, respond promptly – don’t wait until the last minute to send in your response. Most invitations have a response card included, some of the more formal weddings may not. If there is not a response card included, write a written response (black or dark blue ink, cursive if you can and in third person, confirm date, time and location.)

2. Be sure to let them know with your response if you have any allergies or dietary concerns.

3. Teenagers should not assume that they can bring a date/friend. ‘Plus One’ is an invitation for an adult to bring a date. 

4. Look for the dress code on the invitation and follow it. Plan in advance what you want to wear, and try it on, so that on the day of the wedding you aren’t surprised that your pants are now 4″ too short or your dress is at the dry cleaners.

5. Arrive on time. Be at the wedding location 15 minutes before the time on the invitation. Not before that. Arriving at the time indicated on the invitation is late. If you have to wait a few minutes, talk to those seated around you or sit quietly and just watch everything that is going on. DO NOT get your phone out! 

6. Sit where the ushers direct you to sit. Don’t head for the best seats, those are saved for parents and grandparents of the bride and groom.

7. Prior to the wedding, after the wedding and during the reception, be friendly and talk to the people (of all ages) around you. Introduce yourself (posture, eye contact, handshake & verbal greeting) and get to know them. Let them see just how wonderful you are by being respectful and kind. 

8. Be silent during the wedding. Talking is disruptive and disrespectful. 

9. PHONES

Turn your phone OFF. Not on silent, not on vibrate – OFF. This is a ‘no phone’ time. Keep it off and put away for the wedding ceremony and also during the reception. I know that this may be hard for some of you, but this is a time to be present in the moment. Phones out are rude, they are disrespectful of the bride and groom and their day.

Exceptions:

* You may have your phone out during the reception to take photos only.

  (Not to text, not to scroll, not to game.)

* If you need to make a call or send a text, leave the reception and go out into    the hall. 

10. If you take photos during the reception, never post them without permission and never before the bride and groom do. This is their day – don’t ‘steal their thunder!’

11. At the reception, sit where you are assigned to sit. No complaints. 

Be a gracious dining companion. Use good table manners. (Never correct anyone else’s table manners.) This is an opportunity to really shine and let the world see what a wonderful young adult you are becoming.

12. Don’t ask to leave early just because you are bored. Instead, look to see who around you needs a friend or someone to talk to.

13. If there is dancing, get on the dance floor. Don’t hesitate to invite someone to dance – you can dance with anyone of any age, height or size. That little 80 year old might be thrilled to have you ask them to dance!

14. Be quick to help! Help someone with their coat, with their chair or with any assistance that they might need. They will appreciate it and that is the kind of person I expect you to be!

15. Be sure to thank your hosts – the bride and groom, and their parents for the invitation.

16. Most teenagers do not send a gift, it is usually done by your parents as a family gift. However, if you are the only one from your family invited to a wedding (a camp counselor’s wedding, your tennis coach’s wedding, etc.) send a gift in advance. Ask you parents for help with this or email me. 

Enjoy growing up and being invited to family and friend’s weddings! Cheers!

Love,

Mrs. Achiu