Friend vs. Friendly

Dear Wonderful Cotillion Students,

I hope that you have had a great week.  

As ladies and gentlemen, we know the importance of treating others with kindness and respect and we understand what it means to be friendly. We also know the importance of being a friend and having friends. But do you know the difference between being ‘friendly’ and ‘being a friend’?

Being friendly is the way we behave when we are with others. When we are friendly, we are considerate of others’ feelings, we are respectful, we offer assistance, we smile and we are careful with our words and our actions so that we don’t offend or exclude anyone in any situation that we are in. Every single one of those actions is so important in making the world a better, kinder place. 

However, to be a “friend” and to have a “friend” requires us to do and give more of ourselves. Being friendly is not enough to make us a “real friend.” Being a real friend requires us to know – really know – each other. It is so much more than a surface relationship. Being a real friend means that we care about that individual, we are aware of them, and we include them and invite them. There are times when friendship requires work, sometimes it’s not easy. Real friends remember birthdays and days that are important to us, and call or text when they know that you have been ill to see how you are doing, or just to say ‘hi’ or check in. Real friends are ready to help you when you need their help. They are your champion in your absence – they are willing to stand up for you. They have your back! Real friends do what is needed, even if it’s inconvenient. They make time for you and make you feel welcome and wanted. Real friends forgive your mistakes. Real friends celebrate the happy times and cry with you during the sad times. Real friends always want the best for you.

This week, take time to think about who your ‘real friends’ are and be grateful for them. Some of the best friends of your life are found within your own family. Think about what you need to do to step up and be a better friend – a real friend. 

Be aware. 

Listen, when you want to talk. 

Be patient, even when you are tired. 

See their needs and do your best to serve them. 

Always be willing to be a friend and include new friends into your circle. Your life will be so much richer if you will. 

Please continue to be friendly with everyone, but also recognize who your ‘real friends’ are and be grateful for them and work on being the very best ‘real friend’ that you can be.

I send you my love. I am your friend!

Love,

Mrs. Achiu